On Screen

Top this Top Chef commentary

Vicious Trollop's editor is covering this season's Top Chef spills and thrills for Creative Loafing. Check out the coverage every Thursday on the magazine's food blog - http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/omnivore.

Yes, it is a love story: A review of (500) Days of Summer

They make it obvious. It's written on the posters, given away in the previews, and stated outright within the first two minutes of the film: (500) Days of Summer is not a love story. But after mulling it over and analyzing it for days, it's pretty hard to believe them, even if the emphasis falls on "story" instead of "love."

Summer TV brings Docu-Reality, Reality-Reality, and Late Night for your viewing pleasure

Summer nights can sometimes be lonely without the comforts of our friends at Mode and Seattle Grace. This summer, in an attempt to fill the void left by the season break, networks are churning out new summer replacements to your prime time favorites, from low budget reality shows like the CW's Hitched or Ditched to ABC's Wipeout, where contestants battle giant balls and punching walls all with the grace and style of Peter Griffin. Most of the shows are a total waste, but a few have caught our attention, at least for the fading summer months.

Wanna be on top? Live Blogging America's Next Top Model Finale

This spring's cycle of America's Next Top Model has been pretty lackluster. Aside from Cecilia's outing of Talia as homesick early on in the competition, cycle twelve has lacked much of the drama and intrigue that ANTM is known for. Tyra's favorite has been obvious (and I mean waaaay obvious) for way too long and Nigel doesn't even appear to have a crush on a contestant this time around, which feels like an ANTM sin.

But I'm still watching and totally stoked to see if Allison, my favorite model wannabe this cycle, will trip or trot down the final runway, or hell, even make it there. Keep refreshing for up to the minute commentary on the cycle 12 finale.

The pressure is on Aminat's throat? Is she misusing the expression or smarter than she's led us to believe? After all, the pressure of the script does, indeed, rely on her throat, sort of.

Now, I'm nervous for Allison. They showed like five seconds of her working on her commercial and it was not so good. And Teyona got the best commercial outfit.

I think they are making it obvious here that a, either Teyona will be shockingly eliminated before the runway or b, that she is definitely the winner. She is the only one is getting a story line during the commercial and that seems pretty important one way or the other.

I like that Teyona finally seems human. She spent half of the cycle completely casual and then the other half completely confident - I like that she's being honest and the tears seem pretty genuine.

Why did we not see footage of the other scenes? Those used to be featured too. Hmm.

I think Allison's photos will save her. But I think her commercial was even worse than the judges thought.

Or will Aminat be saved by her commercial?

Allison called first - I'm not sure that was the right call. And I also think it lowers her chances of winning, since most of the time, the person called first for the final two is less likely to win. (Also, Tyra's hair...wah, wah, wah, to quote Tyra herself).

I think I liked the fro on Aminat - it made her look more interesting and more like the runway model I hope she becomes. Good luck, Aminat, Tyra speed.

I'm pretty sure Teyona is going to kick ass on this - watching Allison on go-sees earlier this cycle was painful. But I guess you never know - Teyona could fall a la Chantal in cycle nine.

Allison is not as bad as I had anticipated, but Teyona is still better. Although, I never know how to judge the runway walks. To me, walking in heels alone is pretty incredible. And what was that? Runway slugging?

They have to be in bikinis for final judging? This is not Miss America, boo.

The photos always make it seem so close, but I never really think it is for the judges. Also, I missed that episode with Ciara - and I'm kind of glad I did.

And Tyra's hair is wah, wah, wah again.

And I'm not surprised. She's certainly not the worst they could have picked this season. But I do wish her montage speech had been a little more articulate. And I also wish she didn't have to win the whole shabang while wearing a two piece.

Reviewing Surrealism: Persona by Ingmar Bergman

I had tried to watch at least two Ingmar Bergman movies in their entirety before seeing Persona (1966), and was never successful. I think one reason for my success with Persona was because my film professor in college showed a short scene from it in class, a scene that at the time seemed strange, unsettling, sensual, and a little confrontational. I wasn't used to films like that embracing surrealism to capture a state of mind, not to mention breaking the forth wall to have characters turn and stare me down.

Pattinson's Quarter-Life Crisis

We think this is a smart career movie for Pattinson to keep him from being "the dude from Twilight and Harry Potter." And we totally feel him on the quarter-life crisis.

Deeper than Twilight: A Review of Let the Right One In by Tomas Alfredson (Sweden)

I've loved vampire stories for as long as I've been able to read. I know that this is the case for many people, or Twilight would never have done as well as it did as a book series or a movie.

But if you're like me and Twilight left a gaping hole in your mind that needs filling, try Let the Right One In. It's out now on DVD and surprisingly easy to find. This Swedish horror/romance film by director Tomas Alfredson takes the traditional vampire story and filters it out into its simpler pieces. In the world of suburban Stockholm in the 1980's, vampires aren't nearly as beautiful and seductive as their Twilight counterparts. Both the immortals and their prey wander aimlessly in the dreary, snow-covered town trying to survive.

Away We Go

The one and only Dave Eggers, author of Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and You Shall Know Our Velocity, teams up with director Sam Mendes, the husband of the one and only Kate Winslet, for Away We Go, a movie about fucking up and growing up. Check out the trailer below - the vibe seems very much the 2004 Focus Feature film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, only less surreal and with babies. All I can really say? I am beyond stoked.

This post is still unwritten: Live Blogging The Hills

Back on the west coast, we're still waiting for this week's episode of the Hills. I'll be blogging live as I watch this week's episode of our favorite skeleton in the closet. Bring on Spencer v. Heidi - who's team are you on?

Why does the bartender look familiar? Is she already reality star famous? (Like Melissa from the Bachelor who was already on the Cowboys cheerleader show)

Wait, Lauren's back at People's Revolution? I'm not sure I can remember the last time she made an appearance at her job. And getting Stephanie an interview, let's see how that goes.
I do have to say, I think Stephanie is sort of unfairly categorized as a villain. I think she is more often the catalyst than the cause.

One step forward, two steps back in children's cinema

I've reached that point in my life where I feel like a majority of the movies I watched as a kid are five thousand times better than anything coming out in theatres for the 5-16 set. If you're reading this, you're probably inclined to agree. (But, if you don't, we have a comment section for a reason - give it a whirl!)

I still remember sitting on the floor, way too close to the television, watching one of our many laserdiscs (oh yeah, we were early adopters). What would be on? Rookie of the Year, for one.